Sexual Intimacy and Infidelity

I really enjoyed the readings by Dr. Sean Brotherson when he explained that Sexual Intimacy is something sacred, but it is also something we should seek to learn about. He quotes,

“Luckily, I accepted as true the scriptural admonition that we ought to “seek learning” on matters of ignorance “out of the best books” and that we ought to “teach one another words of wisdom” (see Doctrine and Covenants 88:118). Even about sexual intimacy? Let me answer that question affirmatively. Of course. God would not be very kind, in my opinion, if He were to create the means and the affection for married couples to express love to each other sexually, yet deny us the opportunity to gain the learning and wisdom we need to find fulfillment and mutual joy in this critical aspect of married life. So, I started reading books and asking questions.”

It is so important for us to understand it so that we have the ability to continue to keep it a sacred and private matter. I also found it very interesting that most of us learn things about Sexual intimacy after the wedding day, however, we should be learning about it beforehand as well.
Sean quotes his mother saying that sometimes intimacy was…” fun, sometimes it was comforting, sometimes it was romantic, sometimes it was spiritual, and sometimes it was just a willingness to love.
All of these examples show that there are many reasons as to why our bodies and brains are to function as they do, and sometimes we need to be intimate for our benefit, and for the benefit of our spouse.
But what happens if we go too far, and start using physical intimacy for our pleasure?
I’d like to discuss the negative effects and warning signs of pornography, and how that can damage our relationships.  
Pornography is rising within men and women. Although it is highest in men, it is also becoming a problem for women. According to the Infidelity stats from the University of Virginia, The National Marriage Project depicts that the unfaithfulness of spouses was actually higher in the 1990s than it is in the 2000’s. However, the awareness of infidelity and those who oppose it has increased since then.
Although there is such a big problem with infidelity, which is most likely factored with pornography, it is something that a lot of us are becoming aware of and trying to fix.

So how can we stay away from pornography in our relationships, and what can we do to handle it?
According to the State of the Nation Report, these are the following signs or things that may bring a pornography viewing into our lives.

·      Coping with stress and peer pressure

 • Curious/exploring

 • Depressed

 • Fearful of intimacy

 • Feeling low self-worth and believing no-one will love them

 • Having unsatisfactory sexual experiences and think this will help them find stimulation or remove pressure from their spouse if used as a source of personal stimulation

 • Feel they have a high sex drive

 • Lonely

• Needing help in their marriage

 • Needing to escape reality

 • Single and celibate

If you have any symptoms, know that you have a higher chance of viewing pornography, and it is something you should definitely be conscious about.

As far as handling the situation once you are caught in the trap of pornography and infidelity, know that you can only fix something if you are aware that it is a weakness of yours, and you work together with your spouse. Communication is key, and working little by little is also very important.