Skip to main content

Turning toward one another

What a great opportunity it is for us as humans to be able to direct our attention on those around us to be able to increase both of our levels of happiness and further our progression.
As I sit here writing this, I’m watching a father and his baby. The father is trying to stay engaged in his class as he stands outside of it listening while holding his wiggly baby. The baby in a way is “bidding” for the attention of his father, and his father is responding in a positive way. Caring for him, yet doing his best to also stay engaged in the necessities of life.
This can be similar and true in our adult relationships. Whether it be with a spouse or with a best friend or roommate. There are going to be times when they “bid” for attention. It may not be in our face, but if we are aware, we will recognize times when we can better “turn towards one another.”
Think of the last time you stopped to help someone in need. It could have been your spouse as you came home from a long day at school or work, and they were cooking a meal. Or maybe it was your roommate who had a long day, and you took a break from your homework to talk and catch up with them. There are many opportunities throughout the day for stopping what we are doing to help someone else. Have you noticed that when you take the time to help, you are also helping and increasing the satisfaction within your relationship? 
There is a short and sweet example of caring for our spouses. Martha Arnell shared her experience by saying that she does things with her husband that she wouldn't necessarily say she enjoyed. However, because she makes the sacrifice and does these things like camping and hunting with her husband, she feels a closer connection with him. In return, her husband is more likely to do things that she would enjoy, and shape their lifestyle in a way that they are both being fulfilled. This principle rings true to me because I know that we are better able to connect with someone when we take time to see things from their perspective, and even do things that they enjoy doing.
I have a belief that the satisfaction within a marriage can be determined on the trust and respect that is found within the marriage. Trust and respect are better developed as the couple learns how to turn toward one another.
How and when will you better turn toward someone that you care for?




Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Building Friendship and overcoming the natural man Week 5

I have couples in my life that I look up to because of their sweet relationships with one another. Think about it, aren’t there those people in your lives who you just admire and long to have a relationship such as there? I can tell you one thing. They most likely had a bond before they got married. They were each others friends, and now they are the best of friends continuiong to overcome the natural man such as the scripture in Mosiah 3:19 mentions. “For he natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit , and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child  In order to maintain those healthy relationships with out spouses, and need to treat them as our best friend and someone we desire to have by our side. Dr. John Gottman, in his book  “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage ...

Covenant Marriage vs. Contract- Week 4

Although I’m not yet married, it was interesting for me to think about what It means to have a covenant marriage. There is a difference between a contract and a covenant, and Bruce C. Hafen, a former President at BYU Idaho goes into detail about what that means. He quotes, “ Three summers ago, I watched a new bride and groom, Tracy and Tom, emerge from a sacred temple. They laughed and held hands as family and friends gathered to take pictures. I saw happiness and promise in their faces as they greeted their reception guests, who celebrated publicly the creation of a new family. I wondered that night how long it would be until these two faced the opposition that tests every marriage. Only then would they discover whether their marriage was based on a  contract  or a  covenant. Another bride sighed blissfully on her wedding day, “Mom, I’m at the end of all my troubles!” “Yes,” replied her mother, “but at which end?” When troubles come, the parties to a...

What is Charity?

What is Charity? I talked with someone today who struggles with taking care of her children while interacting with her husband whom she divorced years ago. She is happy enough and doing all she can to be a good mother, yet she still struggles with her husband that she split up with several years prior. She did mention one thing that I found to be quite interesting. She mentioned how selfish her husband is at this moment, and many of us wondered why she didn’t catch that at the beginning of their marriage. She told us that he was selfless until she needed to focus some of her time and attention on their children. That is when the selfishness struck in. What does this have to do with Charity? I think it has a whole lot to do with it. Charity is the opposite of selfishness. When we are truly thinking about how we can help others, then sometimes our needs don’t matter. So Charity… that means being nice right? There is more to it than that! Charity is also the attitu...