Skip to main content

Becoming one in Marriage



What does it look like when couple is unified, and has become one?
Personally, I see a unified couple, when I see them making decisions together. But how can those decisions be made together?
A Family Council can be a huge factor in the unification of spouses.
We learn from Elder Ballard in his Counseling with your Councils article that “family councils provide ongoing solidarity and strength.” This has remained true to the various times that I have had family council. Whether it be with my immediate family, or roommates that I have lived with.
Listed below are many of the steps to holding a family council as mentioned by Elder M. Russell Ballard.
1.     Regular time and place to meet (temple each Thursday morning)
2.     A meeting agenda distributed in advance of the meeting
  1. Beginning with expressions of love and concern for each member, individually
  2. Opening with prayer, inviting the Spirit to assist with the process
  3. A member invited to initiate discussion of the item by defining the problem and current status of decisions, etc.
  4. Opening for orderly discussion (one at a time, "additive" rather than corrective comments from each member in turn, etc.)
  5. On-going, focused discussion until consensus is reached, under the clear influence of the Spirit (as opposed to compromise)
  6. Moving forward with unity in accordance with the decision reached
  7. Often a snack or other unifying tradition (The brethren often enjoy chocolates and pie when they meet in the temple!)
  8. Follow-up discussions of results and progress toward determined outcome
In his talk titled, “That we may be one “Elder Eyring quotes what it is like to become one and unified. He says, “The Savior of the world spoke of that unity and how we will have our natures changed to make it possible.”
According to Elder Eyring, this is possible through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. We have the ability to change and make things right because of his example. We can follow the attributes of Christ in order to reach that unity with our spouse.

Below is a link for the Christlike Attributes I mentioned. I encourage you to choose one this week to work on in improving your marriage. In fact, It would be beneficial to choose one alongside your spouse and work on it.

https://www.lds.org/manual/preach-my-gospel/asl/chapter6?lang=eng

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Building Friendship and overcoming the natural man Week 5

I have couples in my life that I look up to because of their sweet relationships with one another. Think about it, aren’t there those people in your lives who you just admire and long to have a relationship such as there? I can tell you one thing. They most likely had a bond before they got married. They were each others friends, and now they are the best of friends continuiong to overcome the natural man such as the scripture in Mosiah 3:19 mentions. “For he natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit , and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child  In order to maintain those healthy relationships with out spouses, and need to treat them as our best friend and someone we desire to have by our side. Dr. John Gottman, in his book  “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage ...

Covenant Marriage vs. Contract- Week 4

Although I’m not yet married, it was interesting for me to think about what It means to have a covenant marriage. There is a difference between a contract and a covenant, and Bruce C. Hafen, a former President at BYU Idaho goes into detail about what that means. He quotes, “ Three summers ago, I watched a new bride and groom, Tracy and Tom, emerge from a sacred temple. They laughed and held hands as family and friends gathered to take pictures. I saw happiness and promise in their faces as they greeted their reception guests, who celebrated publicly the creation of a new family. I wondered that night how long it would be until these two faced the opposition that tests every marriage. Only then would they discover whether their marriage was based on a  contract  or a  covenant. Another bride sighed blissfully on her wedding day, “Mom, I’m at the end of all my troubles!” “Yes,” replied her mother, “but at which end?” When troubles come, the parties to a...

What is Charity?

What is Charity? I talked with someone today who struggles with taking care of her children while interacting with her husband whom she divorced years ago. She is happy enough and doing all she can to be a good mother, yet she still struggles with her husband that she split up with several years prior. She did mention one thing that I found to be quite interesting. She mentioned how selfish her husband is at this moment, and many of us wondered why she didn’t catch that at the beginning of their marriage. She told us that he was selfless until she needed to focus some of her time and attention on their children. That is when the selfishness struck in. What does this have to do with Charity? I think it has a whole lot to do with it. Charity is the opposite of selfishness. When we are truly thinking about how we can help others, then sometimes our needs don’t matter. So Charity… that means being nice right? There is more to it than that! Charity is also the attitu...