Skip to main content

Becoming one in Marriage



What does it look like when couple is unified, and has become one?
Personally, I see a unified couple, when I see them making decisions together. But how can those decisions be made together?
A Family Council can be a huge factor in the unification of spouses.
We learn from Elder Ballard in his Counseling with your Councils article that “family councils provide ongoing solidarity and strength.” This has remained true to the various times that I have had family council. Whether it be with my immediate family, or roommates that I have lived with.
Listed below are many of the steps to holding a family council as mentioned by Elder M. Russell Ballard.
1.     Regular time and place to meet (temple each Thursday morning)
2.     A meeting agenda distributed in advance of the meeting
  1. Beginning with expressions of love and concern for each member, individually
  2. Opening with prayer, inviting the Spirit to assist with the process
  3. A member invited to initiate discussion of the item by defining the problem and current status of decisions, etc.
  4. Opening for orderly discussion (one at a time, "additive" rather than corrective comments from each member in turn, etc.)
  5. On-going, focused discussion until consensus is reached, under the clear influence of the Spirit (as opposed to compromise)
  6. Moving forward with unity in accordance with the decision reached
  7. Often a snack or other unifying tradition (The brethren often enjoy chocolates and pie when they meet in the temple!)
  8. Follow-up discussions of results and progress toward determined outcome
In his talk titled, “That we may be one “Elder Eyring quotes what it is like to become one and unified. He says, “The Savior of the world spoke of that unity and how we will have our natures changed to make it possible.”
According to Elder Eyring, this is possible through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. We have the ability to change and make things right because of his example. We can follow the attributes of Christ in order to reach that unity with our spouse.

Below is a link for the Christlike Attributes I mentioned. I encourage you to choose one this week to work on in improving your marriage. In fact, It would be beneficial to choose one alongside your spouse and work on it.

https://www.lds.org/manual/preach-my-gospel/asl/chapter6?lang=eng

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Effects of divorce on children

Divorce can be a really world shattering event for children. Imagine how hard it is for the parents to cope after so many years of living together, and then think about how it is just as hard for children to get used to the shook lifestyle that they are now living.  Did you know that there is a specific classroom setting for students whose parents have divorced?We hear so many studies of the effect that divorced parents have on children, and it seems only right that we train our children how to deal with it.  Children can learn how to cope with the mixed up life, and they can learn terms and words such as "joint-custody" etc...  It is also a great experience for children to talk with other kids and understand that it's not a weird event that occured in their lives. It is a lot more common than we think. In fact, it's very sad to think of how common it is. While all of this might seem like I good idea for the children, I was questioning whether ...

Diminishing Pride

The topic of pride is such an eye opening thing to speak about. We have to release our pride to even talk about the fact that we may be prideful. It has been interesting to me that pride can occur in various forms. The first example of pride I would think about would be an arrogance in talents. When we are skilled at something and we know it and dwell on that fact, then I see that as a form of pride. However, pride can come in our thoughts. Ezra Taft Benson- a former LDS prophet explains more about pride in a talk titled “Beware of Pride.” During this talk he explains that sometimes it’s our mindset that we have that shows pride in our lives. A competitive mindset is a prideful mindset.          Looking at my life right now, I have seen several prideful moments because of how competitive and perhaps self-centered I can be at times. This feeling of being better than someone takes away our focus from others, and causes us to be left with a miss...

Covenant Marriage vs. Contract- Week 4

Although I’m not yet married, it was interesting for me to think about what It means to have a covenant marriage. There is a difference between a contract and a covenant, and Bruce C. Hafen, a former President at BYU Idaho goes into detail about what that means. He quotes, “ Three summers ago, I watched a new bride and groom, Tracy and Tom, emerge from a sacred temple. They laughed and held hands as family and friends gathered to take pictures. I saw happiness and promise in their faces as they greeted their reception guests, who celebrated publicly the creation of a new family. I wondered that night how long it would be until these two faced the opposition that tests every marriage. Only then would they discover whether their marriage was based on a  contract  or a  covenant. Another bride sighed blissfully on her wedding day, “Mom, I’m at the end of all my troubles!” “Yes,” replied her mother, “but at which end?” When troubles come, the parties to a...