Skip to main content

What is Charity?


What is Charity?

I talked with someone today who struggles with taking care of her children while interacting with her husband whom she divorced years ago. She is happy enough and doing all she can to be a good mother, yet she still struggles with her husband that she split up with several years prior. She did mention one thing that I found to be quite interesting. She mentioned how selfish her husband is at this moment, and many of us wondered why she didn’t catch that at the beginning of their marriage. She told us that he was selfless until she needed to focus some of her time and attention on their children. That is when the selfishness struck in.

What does this have to do with Charity? I think it has a whole lot to do with it. Charity is the opposite of selfishness. When we are truly thinking about how we can help others, then sometimes our needs don’t matter.

So Charity… that means being nice right? There is more to it than that! Charity is also the attitude that comes with it. I love this quote by Dr. Goddard himself. He says,
“In an effort to understand charity, it is important to know what it is NOT. It is not artificial good cheer. It is not a thin veneer of politeness on a distressed soul. It is not holding our tongues while judging and resenting others. Rather it is a sacred and heavenly gift…”

According to this quote, we cannot pretend to have charity towards one another. It’s something that we need to strive for and get used to doing.

I love the idea that in theory, we get to choose how we are going to view another person. We can view them as a mortal would view, or as Jesus sees it. That is the true mindset of charity as Dr. Goddard himself explains it.

However, there are things that get in the way of us having Charity towards one another, even our spouse. That term is referred to as gridlock.

Have you ever had a conversation with your spouse multiple times to find that it was never resolved? What about not being able to communicate in a light hearted way, but you are filled with anger or resentment to towards the purpose with still no solution to the problem?

Dr. John M. Gottman would refer to this as gridlocking. Neither partner can come to a consensus and a fight is drawn out until both partners look selfish. It is a process to go against gridlocking, but one thing that Dr. Gottman mentioned is to understand and know the dreams of the person you are speaking with. It is similar to seeking to understand our spouse and seeing it from their point of view.

My challenge for my readers this week is to step back and think of an interaction when you acted less charitable than you should have with someone you speak to regularly. Think about how you could have been less selfish and more directed towards them. Then, the next time you speak with them, try seeing from their viewpoint to develop a greater amount of charity towards them.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Covenant Marriage vs. Contract- Week 4

Although I’m not yet married, it was interesting for me to think about what It means to have a covenant marriage. There is a difference between a contract and a covenant, and Bruce C. Hafen, a former President at BYU Idaho goes into detail about what that means. He quotes, “ Three summers ago, I watched a new bride and groom, Tracy and Tom, emerge from a sacred temple. They laughed and held hands as family and friends gathered to take pictures. I saw happiness and promise in their faces as they greeted their reception guests, who celebrated publicly the creation of a new family. I wondered that night how long it would be until these two faced the opposition that tests every marriage. Only then would they discover whether their marriage was based on a  contract  or a  covenant. Another bride sighed blissfully on her wedding day, “Mom, I’m at the end of all my troubles!” “Yes,” replied her mother, “but at which end?” When troubles come, the parties to a  contractual  
Post a Comment
Read more

Nurturing Fondness and Admiration Week 6

The principle of nurturing fondness and admiration is important. It may seem like a trait that would be best fit for a mother, but I believe it is a trait that every human being on earth should have. To care for and protect those around us who are strangers, and those who are near and dear to us. I did an assignment this week that involved nurturing and caring for someone in my life. I chose my roommate, and I found that it was harder than I thought to go out of my way to do things to show that I cared for her. In the end, I’ve noticed that we’ve been better able to understand each other when we communicate, and it’s about building each other up rather than competing, and silently hoping that the other person doesn’t reach their full potential. In relating this principle to a marriage relationship, Dr. H. Wallace Goddard shared in his book, “Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage,” the following: “Each of us is created in a different ‘factory’ or family. Two
Post a Comment
Read more

Forgive and Forget

This topic of forgiveness will ring true for us for the rest of our lives. We, as humans, are imperfect, and because of that we will run into situations where disagreements and harsh sentences are exchanged. This will be a time where forgiveness will need to take place. But don’t worry, because we have the resources! I loved the conference talk by an Apostle of the Lord, Elder James E. Faust. He spoke about many situations where families went through very tough trials, yet they were able to forgive. He then outlined three steps for dealing with hard feelings and turning around and forgiving.          1.   Recognize and acknowledge angry feelings Hatred retards spiritual growth 2.   Let go Cast out negative feelings of anger, spite, and revenge 3.   Forgive to be forgiven and lean on the Atonement I think the most important aspect to focus on is to lean on the Atonement. Remembering Jesus Christ, and the Atonement that he performed for us can help us to
Post a Comment
Read more