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Building Friendship and overcoming the natural man Week 5


I have couples in my life that I look up to because of their sweet relationships with one another. Think about it, aren’t there those people in your lives who you just admire and long to have a relationship such as there?
I can tell you one thing. They most likely had a bond before they got married. They were each others friends, and now they are the best of friends continuiong to overcome the natural man such as the scripture in Mosiah 3:19 mentions.

“For he natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit , and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child 

In order to maintain those healthy relationships with out spouses, and need to treat them as our best friend and someone we desire to have by our side.

Dr. John Gottman, in his book “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work,”says this about the opposite of this type of relationship:
“Some people leave a marriage literally, by divorcing. Others do so by staying together but leading parallel lives. Whatever the route, there are four final stages that signal the death knell of a relationship. (1) The couple see their marital problems as severe. (2) Talking things over seems useless. Partners try to solve problems on their own. (3) The couple lead parallel lives. (4) Loneliness sets in” (50).

These are things we need to stay away from in order to have a healthy marriage.

According to Gottman, we need to…
·       Talk about our feelings with “I statements” and express our needs positively
·       Treat one another with respect and build a culture of appreciation in our relationship
·       Accept responsibility
·       And break for 20 minutes, calm down, and return to the conversation
I challenge you this week to use one of these strategies on one of your conversations this week and see the difference it can make.
Here's one of my favorite videos about the expression of love!
https://www.mormonchannel.org/watch/series/mormon-messages/expressions-of-love-2

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