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Family Ties


According to the Financial Challenges and the Life Cycle article written by Poduska, I am currently in stage 1 of the financial life cycle. I’m single with obviously no children, and I’m in a financial income bracket of less than 20,000 per month. This article was pretty accurate in saying that I most likely have student loans to pay off and am spending most of my income on schooling. However, I do not own any credit cards and do not have the bad habit of impulse buying. I understand the importance of building credit so that I can later on buy a home or a big ticket item and have a good credit score. However, I do not see the importance of ha ving several credit cards.

I have thought a lot about what it will be like when I marry into a family and have my own set of in-laws. I have 6 older siblings who are married, and they all married into such a unique family, and for the most part it works out well for them. I do notice it being a bit of a struggle when both in-laws are equally involved and want to see their kids and grandchildren during the holidays. However, I look up to my own parents for being loving and kind to my siblings’ in-laws. They have met each one of them, and could keep up a conversation with them if need be. When my siblings got married, it was important that did things with their spouse’s family and we were at least aware of who they are.

When I have my own family, I want my children to know both sets of grandparents and love them both. My own parent’s opinions and advice will usually trump my in-laws, but I would like to develop the kind of relationship with my mother and father in law where I can speak openly to them. I know that will mean a lot to my husband as well as my in-laws, that I do that.


While I was reading the article, “Creating Healthy ties with in-laws and extended families” I read about how newly married couples should remember to cleave unto their spouses rather than resorting to their old ways with their parents.
This was a good bit of council for me to read, because that has sometimes been a problem for my family. We seem to fight and get upset when our siblings don’t come to our house for Christmas or Thanksgiving, because they are at the other in-laws. However, they should really be staying at their own place and cleaving unto their spouse and making their own memories. It’s important for the newly married couple to create their own identity, and decide what their traditions and family will be like. This is the time of life when roles are defined, and each person in the family understands their roles a little better.
This being said, I don’t think every holiday should be spent without your in-laws, but I think it’s good to have a balance of both.



References
Harper, J. M. & Olsen, S. F. (2005). "Creating Healthy Ties With In-Laws and Extended Families." In C. H. Hart, L.D. Newell, E. Walton, & D.C. Dollahite (Eds.), Helping and healing our families: Principles and practices inspired by "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" (pp. 327-334). Salt Lake City, UT: Deseret Book Company.


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